Cancer Conference, Titanium Wedding Bands, Gluttony?

First off, cancer conference rocked! It was a long stressful painful day after which I fell onto the couch with my cat and cried for a bit, but I feel like it was a great overall experience and I left feeling very motivated with my research goals. Also, learning the pathology of rhabdomyosarcoma was really neat because it's so hard to classify. There have been arguments about how to define each type since at least the 1950s, so there was a lot more to look at then just cell differentiation etc. I think it's pretty cool that the subendothelium pushing into the hollow organs creates bunching that looks like grapes- pretty weird for a tumor of this variety! Obviously I don't think cancer = awesome, but it is really interesting to me and I get excited about some really awful things as long as it's just as pathology, not as a person I can't help.

I got my pomegranate tree, but since it's snowing (again) it has to live inside for a bit. It's really beautiful, I hope it blooms this year! Big, orangey flowers :-)

A high-school teacher of mine once said, "Some people plan their meals days ahead. Can you believe that? That's gluttony!"
Any thoughts?

I am so lucky to not have totally fucked eating habits after being told every week for years that I was fat and needed to take ______ diet pill or eat this diet food to be a better person (thank you, riding coaches from Hell!), having a mother who compulsively eats junk food at night but eats healthier than anyone I know during the daytime, working at a place where I got shit for being a size 8, and living in a town where you could always find 8-10s because almost no one is bigger than a 6! I guess the saving grace for me is that the community focus was on health, not weight. Have you seen an ultra-marathon runner? NOT catwalk material! My idea of beauty is skiing all day and still having energy to go ice skating in the evening if you want to, indulging in good food when you're invited to, and belly laughing when you're inspired to.

That teacher's "lesson," though, really messed with my head. I mean, I do sometimes fall asleep planning tomorrow's dinner, so am I a glutton? Or does it just go along with reading Gourmet cover-to-cover, recipes included, the moment it arrives each month? Or does that just REALLY make me a glutton? I love good food, I eat healthier when I plan lovely meals full of fresh produce and good cuts of meat, but I also straight-up refuse to eat a lot of junk food. Twinkies, McD's, soda- all no-nos in my book. I guess I just don't understand what she meant, planning meals = gluttony when in my mind eating too much = gluttony.

Tonight, lemony shrimp and asparagus risotto and bananas foster. Yesterday, JB and I went to the farmer's market and bought local munchies: raw cow's milk cheese from Windsor dairy, goat brie from Haystack Mountain, arugla from one of the co-op organic farms, bread from Udi's bakery in Denver, a tomato from another local farm (that happens to have a greenhouse, I think they make a killing having tomatoes this early in the year!), corn tortillas, apricot strudel... made the world's best paninis with the brie and veggies :-) and I had the cow's milk cheese for breakfast. Uber-Yum!!!

4-20/ Columbine/ Romeo vs. Sliding-Glass Doors

Caitlin wrote about the Columbine shootings so I'll let that explain what I probably should feel.

Mr. Mewton has been inconsolable since his Juliet (the neighbor's outdoor kitty) stopped visiting him. She spent several days under the window or pawing at the sliding glass door while Mr. Mewton meowed softly in her direction. But, alas, his forbidden love is afraid of people and I have been gardening just outside the sliding glass door. She did come up and hiss loudly at me once, which I found pretty hilarious. Mr. Mewton, however, spent the rest of the wandering around the house crying and refusing to play with us.

I had chem lab this afternoon and got out around 5pm... WOW where there a shit ton of people wander through the dank haze that signifies 4-20 on campus! Someone somewhere must have been selling cotton candy because it was a popular acessory among the glazed-eyed "hippies." I stopped at the store for some goat cheese and bread and this nicely dressed man went up to the baker...
Baker: "Can I help you?"
Guy in Tie: "How am I? I'm cool, man. Thanks."
Baker: "Um,"
Guy: "Oh, do I want bread? Naw, man, no, but thanks anyways dude. Maybe I want bread..."
He wandered off towards the cookies, I went up and got my bread and started to walk away as Guy wandered back...
Guy "Hey man, do you guys have any, like, hard-crusted bread?"
Baker, "Yes, we do. (pointing to counter full of artisan breads) What kind would..."
Guy, "Oh, wait, no. I don't want any bread. That's totally chill though. Thanks man!"

So, when you see the number of pot-smokers who participated in Boulder's "holiday," don't think they're all just college-aged holigans!

Man, does Mr. Mewton smell bad! No wonder Juliet left him...

Step off onto that alien soil...

...let yourself be redefined

Linda-

There are no words. Your grandson was so blessed to have you and I know he'll always remember the love you shared, even if you have to leave so soon. Our week together changed my life, but you already knew that. I don't know how you managed to smile and laugh through all the pain and the unexpected pitfalls these last two years, but you've been an inspiration of wellness without health. living life to the fullest without ignoring the awful/hard bits.

Aileen called, we're both struggling to find words for where you are. I don't know if Junebug will call when you pass, but I don't think I'm ready for her to. I want her to be with her family, and your family, and find peace for herself before she lets us know. You were always so close, I can't imagine how hard this will be for her, finding strength without you. Closer than sisters, as Aileen said. You were both so lucky to have found a soulmate-friend in your times of need.

I love you. I have no doubts that the cure is coming, and your life has added fuel to my mission to be a part of that research. I dedicate every day to you, oh Warrior Women, Soul Sisters, retreat healers. Without you, I would not be the functional human being I am today. I owe my future to you all.

Anyone know ANYTHING about Rhabdomyosarcoma???

I finally finished my cell bio paper, Effects of A1-GPIbα Gain-of-Function Mutations on Platelet Interactions in Type-2B and Platelet-Type von Willebrand Disease, and after a day off yesterday to recover from strep throat I'm already behind on my next project, the pathology and diagnosis of Rhabdomosarcoma, a pediatric cancer so obscure we can't find it mentioned in any of the major cancer research books! Seriously, if you know ANYTHING about this disease, I will love you forever!

Man, I hate this point in the semester when everything is suddenly due! The strep did not make it any easier, but I'm excited that I'm still on my feet and working strong. This is, after all, the point last year where my brain stopped functioning, I ran into a wall, and the ER doctors got their annual opportunity to get all excited about rare blood diseases. I feel really good, I'm dropping weight steadily even on my stress diet of dougnuts, ice cream, curry, and carrot sticks (which I don't think really balances itself out, sadly) and I can't friggin' wait for the weekend, when I'll finally have a chance to play with the rescue ponies. Two weeks is WAY too long for Kalhua to go unworked, although it looks like she's been behaving well enough to get groomed on volunteer days so at least she's getting attention! I should also put Isis to work a bit; she can't go above the walk and she can't be ridden but she's incredably smart so... more groundwork, more trust issue work. And I said I'd help get Honey more comfortable being handled so she could get a massage. She's another sweetheart of a mare, Thoroughbred, who understandably doesn't believe that people are here to help. I'm glad that two new people are being evaluated to ride, because I can't be the only one who actually does it!

If anyone wants horsey time... I'd really like an excuse to pull out some of the older/ safer horses and love on them!!!

Alright, time for some calculus...

Mr. Mewton!

Spazzing out

Ohhh camera cord!

He LOVES being loved on

Look at that tail! Ew! Rat! Good thing his face is precious!